2050

Reposted from a myspace blog dated May 27, 2005:

2050

i drove past this old salon in elizabeth today on my way home. i really love that esthetic, sort of 1950's hip of thing, just love it...the clothes the pin up style, red lipstick, high heels, girly sexy dresses and gloves. anyway, i got to thinking. the 50's were a while ago and use that term so loosely like it was yesterday. most of my generation had parents and grandparents that were out galavanting in those days, cutting it up. i have a pic of my grandma and grandpa...my pops was a dapper young fellow back in the day, and judging by the sarcastic motherfucker that he is now, we would have gotten along just fine.

how's it gonna be when we are approaching 2050? it's easy to be nostalgic about something before us, but even now it is kind of weird to be watching shows on vh1 about the 80's, being that there is still so much proximity. that's what gets me. when i think of the future, i think of all this spacey kind of imagery that i guess we got from the 1950's, a sort of mod thing.

i think of friends getting married and having babies and...wait that shit is already happening. i forgot i am all grown up and working a full time job, living in an apartment with 2 guys and 2 cats. sitting in my room in the dark, listening to a record and typing random thoughts on my laptop.how do you sucessfully transition into all of this. maybe i just think too much. when will we be the old ones that the young ones say...oh back in your day?

i walked in on what i think was a first first kiss. the cute punk rock girl next door was in the hallway that we share with a boy kissing in the doorway, i was bringing the garbage out and changing my laundry into the dryer. it was weird, i caught the end of it and couldn't do anything but interupt it since i didn't expect them to be out there. she gleefully skipped back to her apt and he stood still in the doorway kind of starstruck. i thought, wow, i am part of their memory. it was nice to see the innocence in their eyes. the kind that you only have once, that's why i think it was a first first kiss. maybe i am wrong, or just so far out of the first kissing game to know.how come all our expectations or ideals form instead of an understanding of what really is? are we really optimists at heart willing to be let down for a holdout ideal that we know we may never get?