take the money and run.

last night we paid the 1/3 deposit of the catering bill for the wedding. jared picked up the check from my dad and we then went together to meet with our caterers and finalize some things. my thoughts were....really??? this is so much money.

when looking at all the costs, even from a very frugal approach, getting married costs a lot. there are lots of little things, too. little things that the boys don't think about. since we are going a non-traditional route for the site, there are extra little costs and details here and there. i like having input and even using my own two hands at creating the scene of our wedding.

when we first got engaged, jared was convinced that we could throw a pretty nice wedding for around $10k. i was convinced otherwise, but like most things concerning reality, i had to sit back and wait for it to settle in for him we are well over double that with our very modest plans. (note: the average cost of a wedding is nj is around $30k) i knew just from my sisters frugal planning that it wouldn't be easy to not spend a lot, esp with all the people that we want to invite. with family alone we are close to 100 guests!! add in some friends and it starts to get out of hand.

currently, the guest list is over 200 which is NOT happening. i think this might be the most painful part of the process. friends, if you are reading this, know that if you aren't invited, it's not bc i don't love you. jared and i have so many friends we could have a separate, grandiose wedding just with them!

i keep coming back in my mind to the scene of a friends wedding about ten years ago. we had worked together and she was a bit older than myself. the wedding was at the brentwood which is a sort of wedding-factory near where we now live. the wedding was crazy and loud. lots of food, lots of music, lots of people i didn't know. by the time she got to our table, she looked exhausted and as we hugged she whispered in my ear....when you are ready to get married -- just elope!

i still couldn't resist asking jared if we could just take the deposit and go elope in hawaii (since he want to go there so damn bad, more on that later)-- saving ourselves from some impending drama. jared didn't like that idea much. i had to try, right? the check exchanged hands and as we walked out of the restaurant we both looked at eachother with a bit of frienzy and giggled....we're really getting married!!


be prepared.
i consider myself a pretty good thrower of parties, so this should be pretty kick ass.

getting things done.

I feel like this week should be over even though it's just tuesday. We have our engagement party on Saturday so there's a lot of anticipation for the un-official start to our engagement even though we've been engaged for over SIX months!! for some reason, my parents were very adamant about having an e-party. luckily for ours, we will be having just one, unlike the two they had to have since the 'rents didn't get along. jared's parents are flying in for the event and are thrilled to get to hang with my parents.

Anyway, it was a chill night at home with dinner on the patio. Chicken with broccoli rabe, sundried tomatoes and quinoa pasta with some fresh cucumber salad. then, we walked up the street and signed the catering contract.

Life is good. better than those cheesy shirts might have you believe. i much prefer their nemesis, life is crap. it's all about what you do with what you've got.

meet heathcliff.

we just rescued him from a house full of cats. Let me know if you are
interested in saving any of his siblings.

I just hope cathcart can handle him.

talk to the hand.

Last night while walking home, I got asked out by some guy on the
street. It was definitely flattering to know that I still have 'it'
but it was the first time since Jared and I got engaged that something
like that has happened.

What do you do in that situation?

Well, I just held up my hand, point to the bling, said sorry and
laughed to myself the rest of the walk home!!

the domestication of jared.

i knew back when i would visit jared in chicago that he wasn't much of a cook. he and his brother were roommates and basically, adam is a kick-ass cook and baker which gave jared no incentive to even try. so when he first moved here, i was prepared for the learning curve that he would have with anything culinary.

the thing is that i commute and an hour and half one-way (that's three hours total) each day for work. it's no easy feat, but someone has to do it to bring home the bacon, or in our case the taylor ham. jared's commute?? 12 minutes. yes, 12 freaking minutes!!!! and, when we first started living together i would schelp home and he (having been home for at least an hour, possibly more) would be sitting like a kid at the counter waiting for dinner. i am not sure where this behavior came from, but i thought to myself, it has to stop.

from that, i started to have him help me. first it was just cutting and prepping, then it might be cooking some sides. he was all too familiar with the george forman grill, and my little mini version got a lot of use as jared used it for the first few months to 'cook dinner'. we then invested in an even bigger george forman grill and for about the last two months, we (i am also to blame) have cooked almost every aspect of our meals from potatoes to veggies, to meats. it's not that bad being that it's summer and all, but i like to cook-cook. so i started it up again, letting jared grill when he can.

so today, after a long day of meetings i just wanted to eat dinner and hit the hay. i missed my yoga class and ended up on the same train as my man. he being awesome, dropped me off at the nail salon for a mani-pedi to unwind and when home to 'cook'. we had a discussion earlier in the day about how to cook the pork that i had thawed out but i expected that i would have george forman-ed food on my plate -- instead, i got a really damn good meal. pork medallions with carmelized onions, steamed peas and mashed potatoes!!! granted the mashed potatoes were instant and the peas were microwave-steamed. but, this meal was rather dee-lish. i actually am looking forward to it tomorrow.

i guess he actually learned when i showed him how to cook stuff.

love you, baby.

engagement photos -- suggestions please.

do we need them?? no.
but our awesome photog/friend is all about them. and secretly, i kind of love the idea.

since we met in chicago, and then jared moved to nj, we decided that nyc was out. instead we thought of doing photos up by the west milford/ringwood area which is ironically where we both grew up. any ideas? we definitely want something out of the box, with a vintage charm to it.

i just did a search for 'west milford attractions' the first link was to West Milford NJ Romantic Attractions and Things to Do for Couples. seriously?? McKeages? i used to tap dance on the bar as a child to get shirley temple's with my grandfather.

ha!!

it just occurred to me that we could do them in front of the 'flowerhead' (see pic to the right). ok, maybe not.

anyways, here are some real options:

greenwood lake airport
ringwood manor
or just somewhere near the mountain with my schwinn.

please advise!!!

you are not alone.

i took a yoga class last night and at the end the teacher played a version of somewhere over the rainbow by Israel Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole, which brought me to tears as i layed in svasana. it was a song that i connect with the death of my grandfather. i know, it's sort of weird to say that, but upon his death, i was compelled to make a mix cd for the funeral home which is now part of everyone in my family's cd rotation filed under 'pops forever'. but for some reason this song in particular has some memory and emotion attached. music can do that to you.

i started to think about how the teacher from whom i received my training was very against playing music in class. i thought for a minute that she just was anti-music, but after visiting her home and seeing her extensive music collection, i thought otherwise. music has so much tied to it -- you know it does. there are songs that remind me of friendships, road trips, ex-boyfriends, specific periods in my life and even people who have passed away. i definitely like to play music in my classes, but i try to keep in mind that what i find hip or fun doesn't always work for others. the power of silence in a class can be just as strong.

on my recent vacation out to california, with alpha the great, music definitely played a big part. about halfway through we found out michael jackson died. wtf! michael jackson died. his music was some of the stuff i listened to and rocked out with my parents to in our living room.

driving through the streets of la, we heard lots of celebrity responses about his passing. one stuck out:
John Mayer said, Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ...Michael Jackson, like James Brown and Prince, are nearly uncoverable. The tunes were about his innate talent and can't really be replicated.

my sentiments exactly. right now on the radio, we are the world is playing. and as i hear it, i hear familiar voices. voices that i grew up with; they gave me advice, they cheered me up, they cheered me on and they kept me company when i was depressed.

for me, music is something that shaped who i am. my favorite childhood memories are the ones in which we would hang out in the living room and listen to the record player. luckily my parents had pretty cool taste in music. they taught me to appreciate music in a wide array of genres which i still hold to this day.

as i sit here and write this, my coworkers daughters are dancing around to michael jackson's thriller, giggling and knowing distinctively who he was....like his music was a sound found in nature.

rip michael j.

next up.

now that my sister's wedding is done, the attention and hysteria has shifted to me and jared. even at becca's wedding, about every other person made a note that, 'youuuuuuu're next!!'

our engagement party invites went out earlier this week and so, i am sure there will be lots of unexpected nagging and prodding -- it's already started over what cake-topper, serving set, type of candles, color of dresses, types of flowers, number of guests and anything else you can think of.

overall, i am pretty psyched. jared is even getting really excited. we met with our caterer last night to go over the menu and it's going to be awesome. we are even going to have a french fry table!!! a freaking french fry table with different dipping sauces.

since we are having the wedding at a non-traditional place we get to do all the planning. and though i opted to not have a planner -- luckily our caterer handles all the coordination on the day of-- the details can be fun but also time and $ consuming. being a frugal and creative person, i plan on diy-ing a lot of the wedding. luckily i have a mother, a sister and a mother-in-law-to-be who are all crafty.

here are some ideas on my diy projects:

• sweets/candy bar. this one is pretty straight forward. we are going to get some cool retro-esque candy, i will bake some choc chip cookies and then i thought we could also get some mini-cupcakes to serve along with those. i found two really cool old glass jars that will give it a candy store sort of feel. if you have any you can lend us, that would be great!

• diy flower bouquets and boutinieers. this seems pretty easy. i just watched a video on the process which really took a lot of the mystery out of it. this is something i think the bridal party could do together the day before. having five girls in the bridal party can definitely add up with all the bouquets, corsages and boutineers. i have to scope out the flower market and then decide whether i should go that route or one of the many online bulk sites. again, reccommendations are totally welcome.

• favors. not sure what these will be, but i have a whole bunch of ideas bookmarked. this will be a fun project for the family to help me with.

so i am excited.... we have 309 days of fun planning and projects left. for now, we are looking forward to the engagement party at my dad's house in a few weeks!!

btw, we did pick some colors. since i really wanted jared to be a part of this we ended up going to look at invitation colors for inspiration. he really liked the silver and navy combo, as did i. we ended up picking those colors. i was inspired by this martha stewart pallette (see pic to the right).

i've already picked up some ribbon in that cool mossy aqua color. and my dress will not be blue, but i am sure there will be something blue involved. i also think that creamy white and peachy pink flowers will really compliment this combo. that means that the ladies will get to wear either a dark gray or navy.

going to the chapel.

This weekend, i watched my little sis walk down the isle and then say
I do. This was promptly followed by the best night of her life. I've
never seen her have so much fun!! And that made me very happy.

Congratulations Becca and Frank!!
xoxo

local lovin.

one of the great things about our new apt is that we live within walking distance of downtown and get to keep things really local. about two blocks from our place is the montclair farmers market. i was inspired to get some veggies for a light and and minimal cooking dinner. i picked up some cherry tomatoes, a big eggplant (for a buck!) and then some romarsi pesto, which is made by a local woman whom i yoga with. i've had it before and it's super yummy. here's my recipe(or just directions) for whipping up some dinner with those goodies plus some rice pasta.

easy pesto veggie pasta:

• cut egglant int 3/4" cubes;

• cobmine a container of cherry tomatoes and the eggplant and drizzle with olive oil, sea salt and pepper;

• here's the part that makes it really easy: put all the eggplant and tomatoes on the george forman grill;

• cook until the tomotoes get golden and shriveled;

• bring a pot of water to a boil and add about 16oz. of rice or quinoa noodles (i used trader joes rice spirals bc we were out of my fave quinoa ones);

• once done, add all the veggies and noodles, then add about half a container of the pesto and serve! salt and pepper to taste.
  

super easy, super yummy. i think that jared could even make it (think). its good hot or cold as left overs. i tried to take pics but on saturday, my iphone needed a break, that is i forgot to charge it the night before and it died.

all this local lovin made me really want to make my own pesto and really grow some herbs. so we trekked over to home depot for a little window box to start our own recession garden for herbs at least. hopefully in the coming weeks we can start composting. for now we have basil, tarragon, oregano and mint growing on our windowsill. the pic above is me at the home depot, which according to my married friends, i will learn to loathe. for now, i get a little bit excited when i go there, even though i only have use for about 5% of what they offer.

growing up, my father and mother planted fairly elaborate gardens from which we got most of our veggies and even pickled and canned things to eat throughout the year. i have always wanted to continue with that. there's something to be said about really getting what you can from what you have. we grew our own veggies, and even raised some chickens at some point for eggs. my parents taught me a lot about being frugal and getting the most out of things. thinking back, as i was growing up, i never was for want. and it was great bonding time to go into the garden with my dad and see what had sprouted up each day. i might not be able to grow much on my little apt porch, but at least it's something. and something is really what you make it to be. thanks mom and dad for the life lessons. xoxo.